Secret In The Steel

Monolithic

monolithic
standing tall and mighty
bruising the heavens
spanning the distance
monolithic
monolithic

i first gazed upon its dark beauty when i was a small child
unaware of its power

years later i searched the dusty roads of the heartland
to find it once more

drawn to it just like so many before me just like
so many before me

monolithic


Iron And Steam

"cold steel"
we have all heard this before
but i have found steel that is warm
alive
pulsing with a force not of this earth

monolithic

a passion courses through it
i can feel it
we all could feel it
every last one of us
frightened teens
lost and alone
searching for something
or
was it searching for us?

iron and steam
iron and steam
it built this country
and made rich men richer
and poor men desperate
iron and steam
and in 1907 it made one man a killer
and this world has never been the same

john tiller was a proud man
in the early days of 1907
and he loved his precious betsy so

sam alton was lean and young
eager to challenge the world
full of passion and fire

iron and steam
the stuff of american dreams
iron and steam

john tiller drove the iron horse
on the indiana southern line
sam alton was his assistant
with desire on his mind

iron and steam
iron and steam
it built this country
and made rich men richer
and poor men desperate
iron and steam
and in 1907 it made one man a killer
and this world has never been the same


Sams' Lament

my name is sam alton
a poor boy from indiana way
i put my time in on the railroad
but, i ain't always gonna live this way

one of these days it won't be too long
gonna get what's comin' to me
some real pretty things i'll be taken
and far off places i'm a gonna see

now i ride with big john tiller
and they say he's one hell of a man
with his pretty little wife betsy
waitin' for him at home
wish i had me a sweet little girl
to cook my supper in the evening
i'd love her all the time

my name is sam alton
a poor boy from indiana way
i put my time in on the railroad
but, i ain't always gonna live this way


Murder

it was sometime late in january
in the year of '07
that poor indiana boy
just couldn't wait another day
he fell in love with john's betsy
and decided he would have her

in his fit of passion
and his desire for a new life
sam alton killed john tiller
and planned to take sweet betsy away

the devil burned in sam's eyes
as he made his deadly move
his face grinned with madness
as took one last look at john tiller
before he sent him on his way

it was 157 feet to the frozen ground below
john tiller never had a chance
no one heard his dying screams
not even sam alton
he just stoked the boiler
and planned his getaway

the steel had claimed two more victims
one committed to the grave
the other would spend his life running
with blood stains on his soul


The Legend

i remember when i was a child
my father told me the story
of sam alton and his dark deed
i thought it was just a folk tale
a "rural legend" if you will
of a haunted bridge in the middle of nowhere

bridge x75-6 is the official name
third largest in the world
but it's the only one that lives

if you have the nerve to cross it
in the dead of the night
when the january winds blow
they say you can see john tiller falling
and screaming all the way

monolithic
when they climbed it
monolithic
when they trembled
monolithic
when they cried

the wind was biting
and the sky was filled
with clouds of white terror
as they opened up
bringing pretty snowflakes
just like the ones that spotted
betsy's funeral dress
as she wept for her beloved john

it was late january in 1952
when three young men wanted to know
the answers
would they get to see john tiller die?
mikey burress, high school quarterback
"slim" jimmy watson and his brother billy joe
two would join john tiller
on the frozen ground below
and one would have the nightmares to haunt him
until he couldn't take it anymore
it was march 19th when billy joe jumped
and met his brother jimmy and now they both
know the answers to what lies on the other side


Sam's Getaway

january was cold and february colder still
and the tears poor betsy cried started to freeze in her heart
she could never love another man the way she loved her john

sam he tried in vain to turn sweet betsy's eye
but all the more he wooed her the more she turned away

"betsy, oh betsy
please won't you come with me
betsy, oh pretty betsy
come with me to stay"

"sam, sam why are you acting this way
i'll never love another 'till my dying day"

"betsy, oh how my heart does yearn
and a promise to your dear departed john i did make
just before he slipped from my hand, he asked me to
take care of you and to be your lovin' man"

it was then sam discerned the horror in betsy's eyes

"sam, you told the sheriff he fell so fast
you never had a chance to save him
sam, oh sam what have you done
you killed my johnny, you killed my only one"

"i couldn't take it any longer betsy
i had to have you for my own
but, now you know my secret
you know what i have done
why couldn't you just love me
oh now what of this day will come"

sam took his knife out and plunged the blade into betsy's heart
she cried out loud for her john and fell down to the floor
as betsy's lifeblood now flowed sam began to panic
what would he do
what would he do
hide the body down in "ice cave" they won't find her 'till the thaw
by then he would be long gone and all would think poor betsy
took herself there to meet her end and join her loving john

sam slipped out of sight
for twenty years he roamed
from indiana to the great northwest
no peace did sam alton find
just nightmares in the night
and memories on his trail
he wandered through the darkened forests
down the gritty city streets
trying to escape 1907 and wash the blood from his hands
it was a summer night in 1930
sam found himself back in indiana
drunk and all alone
when he laid down along the tracks
to try and make sleep come
and sometime in the night
he was startled by an old familiar rumble
and a blinding stream of light
a coal train headed down to the ohio
for another load of dirty black rock
and many men have wondered
if it was john tiller's hand upon the wheel


1962

you can hear them
you might just hear them tonight
the long screams of terror
john tiller
mikey burress
young jimmy watson
no one knows if billy joe screamed
on his way down
you may even hear the scream of sarah perkins
such a tragic way to die

everyone said sarah was the prettiest girl at the prom
it was 1962 and was in love with richie baker
they were the perfect high school pair

after the prom was over in richies car they drove
through the winding gravel roads out into the
dark indiana countryside
richie thought tonight would be "his night"
and make it all the way to home
he parked the car down in the bottoms
below that fateful bridge
and when he thought the time was right
richie made his move

with torn dress and tears in her eyes
sarah ran from the car as fast as she could
along the narrow path up the wooded hill
with richie chasing close behind
saying "i'm sorry sarah, please don't go"

now in the dark night
when the sky is full of clouds
bridge x75-6 don't look all that long
so in her shattered state of mind
sarah began to cross
once on the other side
she could find the road and make her way back home

when she slipped she grabbed the crosstie
sticky and covered in creosote
she screamed for richie
she screamed for her father
she screamed out load to jesus christ
then she screamed no more


Monolithic (reprise)

monolithic

it was the biggest thing
i had seen through my childhoods eye
monolithic
monolithic
markers in the field below
daddy, how did all those people die?

i read all the stories
heard the old men tell their tales
and soon i came to realize
the easy question was how
the unanswered question was why

monolithic


Alive

i could feel it
when i touched it
for the first time
perched atop it
with the smell of
creosote and grime
infiltrating my senses
i could feel it

the steel is alive

just like so many before me
i hiked the slope
i climbed the towers
cheated certain disaster
and explored all that was to be seen
i could feel it and brian could too
this force drawing us in
the secret in the steel
would leave us trembling in the night

the steel is alive


No Reply At All

"this is an ominous presence
as if you were standing before
something not of this earth
there is great evil at work here"

i found this in a book tucked away
in a box of forgotten memories
the words of father jones
a priest who's parish i could not find
who's identity i could not trace
i asked some of the old timers
about father jones and bridge x75-6
and they all would turn to stone
until i met old tom whitley
he knew of father jones, he knew this story well

for five years richie baker
tried to drink away the memory of 1962
on a sticky summer night in terre haute
he was begging for change
when a long lean man stuck out his hand
father jones took him in and dried him out
as richie crawled into sobriety
he told father jones his story

"you've got to face your demons boy"
father jones would say
so, as the leaves began their colored spectacle
father jones and richie took a drive
down the dusty gravel roads
to the valley that it crossed
just one look was all it took for richie
as the tears ran through the valleys
of five years of drunken chaos
that were carved in his face

father jones could feel it

from here the story gets murky
old tom whitley's memory wasn't clear
but he remembered what happened
on the third day of september in 1967
that's the day they arrested richie baker
for murder in the first
they say he pushed father jones off of bridge x75-6
just like sam alton did in 1907

at the trial richie pleaded and claimed
he was innocent
why would he kill the man who saved him
from the bottom of a bottle
but, the people remembered 1962
just as well as richie
and some say they wanted justice
now justice sits in a lonely cell
located at 4490 reformatory road pendleton indiana
claiming to this day his innocence
and still grieving for his sarah

that's all that's know of father jones
richie refuses to see visitors
each time i've written him
the letter comes back unopened with no reply at all


And Brian Could Feel It Too

i could sense it in the way he spoke
fear
the one thing i had never seen brian show
but every time he played it down
"i'm not afraid of anything"

we would drive down to bridge x75-6
and try to unlock its mystery
to see if we could discover what those before had not
we stood over the markers
silence so loud i would almost cry
and sometimes i would see him
eyes darting, looking for something he was
sure he didn't want to see

one night when the stars were
desperately trying to hold on to the night
he told me


"something here wants me here, forever"


Blood On The Tracks

there were others like us
teens with nothing to lose
some found it, or so they thought
lurking in the shadows
not of the mystery, but in the
caverns of their own darkness
they sought after those things hidden from the light

the news reports ran it nightly
and our parents warned us to stay away
two teens were missing
and the circumstances were peculiar
reports of "devil worship" in the quiet
southern indiana hills
markings on road signs
evidence of sacrifice
once again there was "great evil at work"

it was august of 1984 when their mutilated bodies were found
ritualistically carved with remains yet to be found
badly decomposed and buried in a shallow grave
just a few miles up the tracks

searches uncovered the dominions they were
delving into without fear
mindy' diary revealed stories of
rituals and incantations
secret meetings with parties not mentioned
of her love for randy and his obsession with the darkness

mindy's last entry spoke of the night
that would seal their fate
randy had learned of some great force
centered at the base of one of the towers
"tonight randy and i are meeting the others at bridge x75-6
he says it will be a night i will never forget"

for the parents of mindy sharpe and randy kerns
the blow was more than any parent should ever endure
anger took the place of grieving and in a fit violence
mindy's father shot and killed randy's father
for leading his daughter into the devils realm
while awaiting his publicized trial
thomas sharpe took his own life

next month will be eleven years
and those woods and that bridge still
refuse to speak, refuse to tell the world
who spilled teenage blood on the tracks


Forever

there are things in this world
that cannot be explained
mysteries with endless clues
all intended to lead the searcher
in circles

what great force?
which tower?
centered at the base?
each tower has four concrete bases
and the most frightening part of it all
"something wants me here, forever"

even now at a time when
the memories of my youth
are clouded by the sands of time
i have trouble sleeping
when the bitter air
slips into my room
on lonely january nights
sometimes i hear brian speak to me
"forever"

"it's the only thing we haven't done"
"brian, do you know how incredibly dumb that idea is?"
"i'll go alone then"
"and what happens when you drive into a snow bank and freeze to death? and what about if you do make it, you're going to climb up there in a fucking snowstorm?"
"it's been eighty years since john tiller died and no one, not me or you or anyone else has ever really seen his ghost, but for eighty years people have been telling his story. now i know you don't ever hear anything when we go down there, but i do and i can't take it anymore. and i'm not waiting till next year so another snowstorm can keep me from it, how many january's do i have to wait?"
"ok, i'll go with you"

we drove in near silence
the occasional "look out"
or "i think were stuck"
it was 1:37am when we parked the car
up the hillside we climbed
about halfway up i slipped
and slid back to the bottom
we were so cold
they don't run a train across x75-6
on the 23rd of janruary
in memory of big john tiller
so, we crept out to the center and sat down to wait
the wind would push our bodies
as if it wanted us to join the others
we would push back in defiance
and shouted out "fuck you" to the howling wind

john tiller never came
we never heard the screams
only silence broken occasionally
by our presence

then brian looked at me
and spoke the words i'll never forget
"i know the secret aj"
the wind hit us
and this time brian didn't fight it

"forever"


1971-1987

brian!
brian!

the tears froze on my face
as fast as i could cry them

my numb fingers pushed away the snow
stained with the blood of my best friend

i can't describe it
that which was once his body
he fell so close to the edge
crashing into the tower
and tumbling to earth

brian!

my cries were swallowed by the
pure white silence the swirled around us

forever
give him back!
forever
give him back god damn it!

i wanted to die that night
join him on the other side
i almost did
had it not been for old man smith
who still regrets not being there
to stop those boys in '52
old man smith, he farms the bottoms
and sleeps very little in january
always checking, always
always regretting


brian timothy andrews
1971-1987


The Sun Was Shinning In 1990

the camera of life pulls back for the wide shot
revealing to so many those frightful images
lurking around the edges of our sanity

i spent three years in therapy
learning about loss
grief and all those things that are
real
real

there are no "evil entities"
nothing "haunts" that place
it's just a bridge
and my best friend
was lost
i could have never saved him
those voices were his personal demons
eating away at his soul

those days are gone
and so is the frightened teen
who ventured into dark places
looking for secrets to mysteries
that didn't exist

"unfortunate people in unfortunate circumstances"
that's what they told me
and i eventually believed them
just an old bridge

then i met him

i was out looking for work
walking the streets of indianapolis
when i sat down for a bite
a man struck up conversation with me
we talked for hours
he was from near my home town
he told me he hadn't been there in years
"to afraid to go back i guess, afraid i might not like the changes"
i assured him that while some things have changed
too many stayed the same
"that bridge still there?"
"what bridge?"
"there's only one bridge down there that means anything"
"i would think that to the people who use them all bridges mean something"
"but not all bridges are alive"
"i have to go now sir"
"fine, go ahead"
i quickly got up and made my way
bridges are not alive


"by the way, the name's john, john tiller"
i turned around and he was gone



August 3 2004

Dear Mrs. Strong

After ten years I think we have finally gained some ground in your husband's treatment, he is writing. He believes himself to be a poet. We have allowed him the use of a computer and he has become a member of a "poetry community" online. I think we may have hit upon a way to unlock all those things your husband has inside his mind. I strongly encourage you to help him pursue this "writing exercise" as it may lead to your husband's improved mental health and eventual release.


Sincerely
Dr. Erik I. Poland



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All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.