And I Became.........

the excitement was overwhelming
there before me
in decedent beauty
the subtle curves and smooth lines
my hand trembled
but still
it hadn't happened

the proudest of moments
the gift of life in my hands
so small and wondrous
one to teach, to guide
and i was so unprepared
but still
it hadn't happened

a tryst in the night
forbidden desire consummated
another betrayed
in an act of desperation
trying to relive some glory
but still
it hadn't happened

trust rebuilt
walking upright for the first time
since i had sunk
to the bottom of
spiraled insanity
but still
it hadn't happened

the night i crossed the line
a new threshold of perception
the night i became a man
for the first time i would understand
the night i said no