If I Built A Monument (Extended Album Version)

well i'll be damned
this laughter must have been canned
you see i knew it from the beginning
that it was you pretending
as if i were a dumb little child
that's ok i have my ways
of bringing the stars down to earth
just watch

sleep
sheep
weep
and you'll count forever
alone
well, maybe not alone
i'm not
but i told you that
didn't i
that's ok i have my ways
of bringing clouds for the sunshine

someone please
quickly grab a gun
for my head is killing me
and my belly is empty
no more sweets before bedtime for you
silly rabbit
you thought i was a kid
not quite
just a hostile reptile
slithering into middle age
but you knew that
didn't you
that's ok i have my ways
of turning to strike when i seem to be running away

where was this going?
push the envelope?
test the boundaries?
play the exorcist?
see just how much this glass will hold?

and just like the tragic clown
i play in real life
all i hear is laughter
even when the audience cries
all i hear is laughter
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
even god is laughing
he laughs the loudest
even when i cry
shed a tear for the clown damn it
shed a tear for the clown
get off your pathetic suburban ass and help him up
the next time he falls down
it's not always part of the act

you see it's just not me who is hiding here
it is everyone of you
we sit here and write our days away
when so much more we could be doing
well, probably not me
because i just don't care
let it all fucking burn
i'll be back around
i will survive
the apocalypse would be one heller party
at least it would for me
because i just don't care
honestly i think i would sleep right through it
i partied myself out years ago
these days for me a party is
four hours of porn and a tube of ky
but no not even that appeals to you
just keep on writing
maybe our words will change the world
now there's a hoot

are you still reading this?
well if you are here's the punch line
xxxx xxx xxxxx xx xx xxxxx xxxx
well i thought it was funny
and maybe you will too
i don't know
i don't care
but i do know this
we are all chasing the same thing
all of us
that tasty juice we just can't seem
to get enough of
and the longer my poems
the taller my glass of ego

(no ice please)

so you see we can't take it with us
not even these words we all love
no sleek metaphor will save us
from our own impending doom
man, we can't even save baseball
let alone ourselves
i can't even watch "field of dreams"
but that's because he never played catch with me
ever
and he was really good at baseball
so i cry like a baby everytime i watch it
because even if i did build it
he probably wouldn't come

but, if i built a monument to love
would you be here?
read all the words
even if they might not make sense?
all i can do is pour my heart out
over each line and hope
you find it
that secret compartment in my chest
where i keep my dreams
of loving you alive

seriously, i just wanted to hear your laugh
one time
maybe even hold your hand
for a little while
feel the softness of your kiss on my cheek
then i could fade away into
the oblivion of the internet
and sleep for a thousand years
dreaming
dreaming
then wake up to find
a rainbow inside a painting
of a man about to crumble
because loving you
would be like
touching the face of god