Waiting For The Impressionist

whenever- 

the sun no longer kisses your animated sky

whenever-

the blue calm of surrender is the only reply

i’ll be waiting

whenever-

the star you went chasing fades away

whenever-

that creeping darkness begins to sway

i’ll be waiting

i’ll be waiting for you in my world of dreams

with open arms to encompass your extremes

i’ll be waiting for you in the silent of the night

with a well of words for you to write

whenever-

the that lonely spirit comes calling

whenever-

the tears of yesterday start falling

i’ll be waiting

whenever-

the summer birds of song have long since flown

whenever-

this renoir existence has left you frightened and alone

i’ll be waiting

Even Poets

a new fascination comes over me

like rain pouring down

truth is a vision for prophets and madmen

to hide in paintings of virgin sacrifices

we are all just poor art critics

misinterpreting the answers

to fit these questions we struggle with

this shivering feeling carries me away

to land of childhood fancy

were i crossed mountains

in search of a treasure

i could call my very own

a chest filled with so much more

than my mediocre dreams

the sharpened teeth of despair

became a rabid dog ripping my flesh

the sweet taste of my teenage fantasies

drove it to an unstoppable frenzy

yet with this heartbreak surrounding me

i still searched for a treasure

just one a little softer and warmer

than these nights of playing make believe

in the middle of yet another treasure quest

pain arrests me, i drop to my knee

life simply fading into nothing

the echoes my last words falling

on this sea of dreams

my heart unable to go on

i sink into void

truth is for prophets and madmen

to the rest of us it remains a hidden treasure

even poets

The First Degree Of Dislocation

sheets of cold october rain race across newly paved streets

washing away tiny multi-colored fragments of my soul

as the water rushes to it's certain destination

one truth smashes against my nearly drowned emotions

i am nothing without you

i am nothing without you

i am nothing without you

i am nothing without you

i am nothing without you

i am nothing without you

i am nothing without you

The Wake-Up Poem

wretched watchers

waiting for wrath

wrinkled and worn

worthless worries

without the within

working for wants

why and/or why not?

washed up wiz-kid

walled and wincing

wondering and wailing

wearing less woven

wanton wrapping

who or where

whatever

whoa i’m wasted

winter witches

will water

whip the waiter?

won’t you whisper

when it’s windy

won’t you?

won’t you?

whisper to me softly when it’s windy

the why’s of this wandering wonder

and wish me secretly into your waiting

where the woven threads of love

will find you in the waking hours

wanting me to wrap my arms

around your weary soul

Someday The Stones Will Roll No More

disease transmitted from satellites

oozes into the wanting ears

of a generation succumbing

to the nanoness of the moment

all knowledge fades into oblivion

as the candy becomes the fruit

and the sense and sensibility of

rebellion are swept aside for

idols of a clean defiance

and the words “hail, hail rock and roll”

are just words written on blank stone

Golden Soul

sacrifice-

you will never understand it

that is why he can never love you

if your walls of passion

were lined with 24k goldhe

would only steal your treasure

and walk away

for the gold is the only part

of your soul you value

Of What Once Was Never

keep me in this trance 

suspended in the jelly of your scared memory 

i'll live in those faded moments 

when you took me out to play in the rainy streets

of a night when the moon laughed and the stars danced

and i will hold forever in my eyes

the tears i wanted to cry for you

when you were too frightened by love

to accept the fate you turned away

so when the moon smiles down upon you

while the stars sway to a island rhythm

look for me swimming in the pools of regret

and drowning in the seasons of change

Memory Acid

in the cobweb lined corridor that leads to my past

the paintings on the walls have a portentous look

as if to say “don’t go through that last door”

memory has such a foul odor

it putrefies the senses

and turns the stomach

the dried vomit of lament

reminds me of all my wrong turns

there stands the monument i made

a grand statue to commemorate my innocence

a castle of ashes, slowly decaying

into the sea of regret it overlooks

too many years of tears pouring from the sky

like acid they corrode the ramparts

the faces in the paintings now screaming

as my hand turns the knob

the door to another world

free from the missteps of my past

the door to-

an empty hallway

with paintings for me to hang

Within

swept into the vortex 

my life inside this hell

dancing shadows of unspent desires taunt me

i am helpless

i have become a figurine upon the shelf of time

collecting dust

gaining no value 

save for my memories

i am alone

amputate my soul from this unacceptable existence

deliver me into fear 

for i have become the demon

i am unknown

Starlight, Star Bright, No Stars Tonight- Or Why I Need You In My Life

i can’t help it

i stand and stare into the night sky

wanting to bring them down

one by one

just to watch them

crash into the ground

Erected Existence

half-masted archaic insensitivity swallows the feelings of chaos that materialize in particles of atomic dreams

built in living rooms where god once crashed on the couch

you know the one 

over next to the wall

the one we used to cover up the black box of lies intended to reach him by osmosis

he woke before dawn

put his travelin/madman face on

grabbed a cup of coffee and told us

he was going out to find himself

rolling textures of middle class sensibility creep into my unconscious thoughts covering the walls with pastel

and fusion cleverly discovering the creation of self through the use of my clutched grip choking the truth

from myself trying to find the meaning of alone before he comes back and discovers.....

she was the life of the party

and no one could take her place

she was the life of the party

she of the suffering face

now she comes to you

like a divine tiger waiting

sniffing for the sweetest flesh

for consumption or mating

she doesn’t care

she doesn’t care

she doesn’t care which comes first

just as long as she plays

drop down

drop dead

drop to your knees

drop down

drop dead

come see me bleed

crucified

crystallized

terrorized

genocide

take away

another day

find a lay

forget the way

cash crop

ransom drop

clean up 

time to get a mop

someone find the hostess

tell her to get the waitress

he’s come to get another cup

and all the kitchen has is decaf

i guess it doesn't matter then

pay the check and on the road again

just don’t expect a tip

cause he’ll say he’s just a little thin

on and on it goes

damn it man you’ll never win

just give it up and go back home

don’t you know you were better off alone

isn't this where it all began

open up your squinted eyes

and start this whole thing over again

My Addiction

mystic apparitions fly above

the moon is blood red

light disappears into obscurity

endlessly falling toward hellish ecstasy

my passion for pleasure consumes

i am bound to the feeling

i can't stop wanting more

grotesque beauty awaits me

searching for a higher plane

obsession of sensation

Drink

we wait lifetimes

searching for meanings

lost in the dance of submission

crawling along in labored suffering

led to the pool of devastation

taught to drink by men of honor

held by a thirst for answers

unaware the water blinds the truth

To Forever Again

candlelight meeting

once upon an evening

hand in hand

and back to forever again

almost to the end

of an endless song

she whispers in the

cool autumn air

“please remember me”

so i write these lines

in hope of stirring her return

to my land of mystery

and we can walk

back to forever again

Unconditionally 42

when this rumble inside my chest stops

i will have 42 days to declare my love for you

42 days

that's how long i plan to live

after the last sunset falls into the ocean

42 days

on the 21st day

i'll turn my back on you

42 days

on the 31st day

i'll lend you a hand

42 days

and on the 41st day 

i'll make love to you by the fire

until the sea boils with anger

and the moon crashes into the sun

the forest will scream in horror

as each creature turns on one another

in one last sacrifice to nothingness

on the 41st day 

i'll make love to you

and fall asleep in your arms

42 days from now

she tells me

“there are no female angels”

and i smile

this long conversation

reaching out to me

over the vast expanse of love

i can’t help but wonder

how does her hand feel

when it’s enclosed in mine

i ran all the way to your house

just to tell you what i had remembered

but you were not home

so i waited

an hour

then another

27 days past me by

and i couldn’t understand

why you hadn’t returned

i waited so long i forgot

what i had ran there to tell you

today was the 42nd day

and i remembered

how your hand felt

enclosed in mine

today i remembered

i have 42 days

to return

this angel to heaven

42

42

42

42

42

42

42

42

42

42

System Failure

Restart Y/N?

Y

this message will remain here permanently until a time designated in the original message given to the keeper of the light

it was in the 42nd moment of the 42nd day of the 42nd year after the last word was spoken from the evolved man that this poem was conceived, sent back through time and placed in a pre-determined location 

where those who might grasp the meaning would find a way to break the cycle and keep the angels here on earth for they are our only hope.....

young man there are female angels

you hold one in your arms

learn how to love unconditionally

Restart  Now 

Y/N?

White Noise

i listen for your voice on the wind

all i hear is static

so, this must be the end

just what kind of love was it?

pretty pink flowers dot the highway

as i drive with reckless abandon

searching for the right tree to hit

i listen for your voice on the wind

as if you were some angel

no, there are no angels in my sin

no angels

no heaven

no fate

no god

just the sound of my wheels spinning ‘round 

a soft soothing sound

the way your voice feels

like white noise carrying

me off to sleep forever

end transmission.....

My Frankenstein

i can feel its presence

slow and methodical

never stopping, never tiring of the hunt

the stench of its raw breath

over my shoulder

i fear

i fear

nearer to the end i fear

i am caught in the viciousness of its trap

the beast from the darkest depths

unmentionable

indefinable

unforgiving

dear god what is this hell i've created

i am prisoner to its evil

and yet drawn to its power

the seizure of my very soul

i fear

i fear

nearer to the end i fear

this

this

silence

The Sacrifice

a man walks into a dark alley

knowing his fate

the bullet that kills him

will be fired from his own gun

his death will bring light

into all the hidden corners

that darkness covers so well

he has sacrificed much more

than the life in his veins

he has sacrificed a past rich in memories 

but prevented a future filled with despair

is there room in heaven

for martyrs of the heart?

Highway

my clothes were clean

and my shoes were new

as i stepped onto the highway

prepared to catch some ambition

or get lost on the endless white line

whichever came first

how was i to know?

how was i to know?

you were chasing the fleeting hope

the long highway pretends to conceal

now, i can’t shake you long after you’re gone

and this bewilderment i left at home

has found me standing all alone

soiled and worn

facing the cold road of my final days

how was i to know?

how was i to know?

i was still looking for you

Follow Her

divine-

she flows into layers of uncharted mystery

searching for the essence of spirit

(i cannot follow her)

ethereal-

gliding through the madness of silence

that falls down on my world

(i cannot follow her)

deep in the nonplus of a haunted reality i plunge ever further into the fire of solitude and there is no release

from the torture of knowing the taste of despair

no turning away from the sounds of twisted voices that weave patterns of obsession in the spoiled air that

surrounds me

everything that once was in my grasp has fallen into the void of an intense blue mania that covers this now

hollow world

divine-

she flows into layers of uncharted mystery

searching for the essence of spirit

(i cannot follow her)

ethereal-

gliding through the madness of silence

that falls down on my world

(i cannot follow her)

drenched in the sacrificial blood of my martyred soul the tentacles of the beast in my visions reaches out to

test my grip this plane of existence

the hope that once was grounded by the presence of her flowered beauty has eroded in these long nights of

self persecution

as i willing give up my hold on this savage civilization filled with the assassins of truth i feel the warmth of

eternity gracing me as i now have found the way

to follow her

Sprinkle

make ya

feel good all over

feel good all over

time

time to make ya

always in my back pocket

a little sprinkle of dreams

a little twinkle of good times

always in my morning rise

a dose of love in your smile

a little taste of sunshine

a little taste of expectation

always in your morning eyes

no, no, no that’s not right

i follow the curves of your beauty

closely inspecting the subtle spots where a man could lose his mind

my warm breath softly falls around the secrets your gentle movements conceal

the taste of your anticipation lingers on my tongue and excites my appetite

a little sprinkle of dreams in the morning

time to feel good all over

shall we begin?