The Twenty Second Street Confessions

part one

but it's still like a flash in my memory

you know one of those quick shots of some tyler durden looking character

except, except i know who it is and he's a she

so yeah i've been there before i can sympathize with you on that

(silence)

no, no i wasn't trying to bring up any bad thoughts just thinking out loud

you know... reflecting

(but sometimes you just need to go to sleep)

sure, but think about how much fun is it to stay up and watch all the fools pass by you
those unfortunate seeds of mistakes, accidents or affection refused people who think they have it together

(so tell me about her)

not much to say really

she was something special then she wasn't

that how we all are somebody one day something the next

(something?)

yeah, now think about this before you throw out some bullshit about everyone being special or whatever crap you were taught to say

(taught by who?)

you know who

now listen
we all start out basically the same

little screaming hunks of life that needs round the clock attention

about 90 percent of us get it

then as time goes on we think we need less and less

but then one day we wake up and say

oh shit!

i really need love, acceptance or hell i don't know, but we need and guess what?

the fucking world has moved on pal
yeah
someone to something

(so was she someone or something?)

you would like me to say i'm the judge of that wouldn't you?

that kind of statement would make it convenient for you, huh

(not really)

so then what do you want me to say?

(tell me why you thought she ........

her hair was black as night
never made up to be pretty cause that's just how she was

her skin was alabaster and smooth but her hands had become hardened to the life she lived

like her heart would one day become

i can still remember the first time and the last time i felt her body under mine

but it was never how i dreamt it and it never would be

dreams are scary

part 2

yeah, well i never wanted people to run from me

(then why do you insist on frightening everyone?)

it just comes naturally i guess

and you know most people need to be frightened

that's what's wrong with this place there is no fear
your people have stripped it all away

(my people?)

don't be cute

you know who i'm talking about

yeah, see at one time fear was everywhere
on the tv, in the newspapers

the streets were full of fear
then one day all these people decided they had enough
they thought nothing could be worse than what cnn was broadcasting and re-broadcasting every hour up-to-date real time

cnn-the fear sponge

(and you want to give people back their fear?)

oh, i never said they lost it they just chose to stop being afraid

big difference

(does fear turn you on?)

now you're at it again trying to catch me in some metaphorical trap

look it's like this- christopher lee, you know he played a monster blood lusting, undead, spawn of evil and people cheered for that shit man you know they love it when the vampire comes up from the grave
or some stupid shit like that people go nuts and do you think he ever regretted being the bad guy?

(yes, but he didn't......

her stillness wrapped around my soul and consumed my desire for more

i became fixated on her naked body

in her sleep she was most beautiful

i could follow the contours of her body for hours without ever touching her

but she would never feel the way i dreamt she would feel

feelings can be deceptive

part 3

(why so quiet?)

just thinking

(really, about what?)

chimpanzees

(chimps, do you like chimps?)

who gives a rats ass about if i like fucking chimpanzees

see it's that kind of crap that makes me wonder

(about what?)

ok, you take your family to the zoo to see the chimpanzees

man you know, all running round making people laugh

if all those people only knew

why can't you fucks leave the chimpanzees alone?

(who?)

your kind of people

i know what you're hiding

(who's kind of people? and what are they hiding?)

fucking chimps
you can't get more human without being human

they are closer to us than gorillas

and what do you people do?

drug them up
selectively breed them so the common person never knows

(knows what?)

in the wild chimpanzees are vicious

they are predators

damn good ones too

but we can't let joe blow and his little bratty kids know that can we?

in the wild a chimp will prey on weaker chimps and monkeys

committing acts of torture and violence

sodomy, blood drinking

some of those little bastards
will even rip the flesh right off of some puny runt

but don't let little tommy know that
why?

i'll fucking tell you why

so certain portions of our society who like to keep the facts hidden

can continue that bullshit about man being evil and the only predators who hunt for fun or sport or just because we need to hunt

(need to hunt?)

how many fucking times do i have to tell you

i'm not going to be tricked by clever god damned word play

(i'm not trying to trick you)

whatever man

look, it's all about keeping up the facade

you know don't let bob everyman know the truth

(what truth?)

that we are all the same

(no, that's not true. not everyone.....

i can still remember the sparkle in those deep brown earthen eyes

i remember every second as her pupils widened with the sensation

my eyes were wild with anticipation

the eyes are the gateway to eternity

part 4

(so do consider yourself the alpha-male?)

what, just because i talk for a bit about fucking chimps you think i'm going to fall for that fuckin question?

(i don't think that's a loaded question)

well of course you don't man and it probably isn't

but my answer..... yeah, my answer makes it a loaded question

(how so?)

ok, so if i answer it, yes then there you have it the world makes me out to be some panzram shit bag but if i say "oh no i follow my instructions" then i become some berkowitz fuck

and i'll have wave after wave of conspiracy assholes hounding me forever

(was it not fame you were seeking?)

you know you are really pissing me off with those fucking questions

haven't you got anything better..... fame..... big friggin deal, man what's fame about?
think about it... ask the first person you meet on the street "who's carl panzram?"

and they won't have a clue

but you take some whiney little turd like old son of sam..... what a fuckin tool

(do you admire carl panzram?)

oh that's good try to slip one in on me didn't you?

panzram was a big monkey who was bored
no education
no social skills
nothing
he was the 800 pound gorilla besides he had no style

(style?)

yeah, no style hell, he didn't even like women

all brute force, no grace

(so grace is........

she was so tender there, in my hands

a pure vision of serenity

so peaceful so precious

if only i could keep her this way forever

but, serenity is just an illusion

part 5

it will be dawn soon

(yes, i know)

how much longer does this need to go on?

(that depends on you)

you know i came in here with a specific purpose
a clear cut goal

(and now?)

oh, i still have the same goal it just seems so.... so god damned distant

(ever wonder what her goals were?)

fuck man

who cares

she didn't care

the only goal she had was getting her hands on some good weed and a stiff cock

it's what her life had come to

(someone to something?)

i guess you could say that

(so now what?)

like i have the fucking answers to life

it all means shit in the end
your born you die

for a few years in between you eat and fuck drink and scheme hustle for whatever happiness you can steal

(so all happiness is stolen? who is it stolen from?)

it's like a never ending ladder

she stole it from her parents who would on occasion steal it right back

then she would need to go out and steal it from someone who would take it back in the morning

she would run home to grift it again from old mom and dad

only to have it taken from her later that day by her dealer

so she could go out with her pseudo happiness

have it stolen while she knelt before the guy who robbed her

it goes on and on until one day it's no longer happiness
just a flutter of desire for it

(so this will bring her happiness?)

i could feel her pulse in the throbbing of her neck

as the cool sounds of the night filtered through the room

it was an act of desperation

it was an act of

part 6

(and her happiness? will she be awake for this happiness?)

 

you know these clever ass questions are really starting to piss me off

and it damn sure isn't going to do any thing to help your cause

(my cause?)

if i didn't have these damn shackles on you would be the first in this room to go

this bullshit interrogation has made me realize i just don't like you

in the wild your chimp ass would be augured out and your skin would on my wall

(so, you would like to kill me?) 
 

unlock me and you will sure as fuck find out

the key he tossed was

more freeing than the

smoothness of her touch

in the days before the sadness

before her freedom broke her

freedom is never free

part 7

i was next to her once again

her warm body gently moving

the body responds even if the mind is numb

(i give you the keys and all you can do is fuck her while she's unconscious?)

you can fuck her while she's conscious, but you can't save her?

(that is why i brought you here. remember?)

then she will be awake for the rapture!

i won't kill you

just let you feel the eyes of the condemned on you forever

oh, that's right it's not condemnation to you

you believe this will set her free

tell me, how do you measure freedom?

how does it get rationalized in that educated head of yours

(i see you have a few trick questions yourself)

as her body stirred she was more beautiful

than the first time i watched her walk across the room

her warm smile

her earthen eyes once more had a light

her sigh was the feeling of safety

her eyes widened

as the force of our penetrations surprised her

one last time

she confessed her freedom

i confessed her deliverance