Fragile: Do Not Drop

i was thinking of you

but not quite in the normal sense

(boxes)

inside each of us

is a place for quiet things

like gardens of simple learning

this is where we understand ourselves

(boxes)

 

help me now

i can't seem to breathe

help me now

i can't seem to believe

 

i was dreaming of you

but not quite asleep

(boxes)

we fill ourselves with all this imagination

line and verse brush and canvas

only to realize our love is much more vast

(boxes)

 

help me now

i can't seem to feel

help me now

i don't seem to be real

 

i am a box

when i have been filled with all the memories of loving you

where will you

hide me?

Counting the Cost of Imaginary Numbers (Seeking Love in the Eyes of Strangers)

one

one one thousand

two

two one thousand

(continue on in the back of your mind)

 

my shot has left its dent on the pendulum of time

altering the sway

just a degree or two

and now the whole world wobbles

 

three

three one thousand

four

four one thousand

 

slicing through the cosmos

on an ever expanding off-kilter path

moving closer to the edge of reality

the inevitable disaster

 

five

five one thousand

six

six one thousand

(keep counting)

 

 

DAMN!

 

she stopped me and said she must go home

it wasn’t right

everything was all wrong

as she started out the door she turned and said

 

“i love you, you know that don’t you?”

 

and walked away into the thick blanket of fog

that had crept in from the west as we were wrestling with bad intentions

 

seven

seven one thousand

eight

eight one thousand

 

i thought about running after her but what would it change?

it was wrong

we were wrong

the whole fucking world is wrong

 

so i didn’t go after her

i never told her

that i knew

i had known all along

 

some secrets are best left in the shadow of enigma

 

nine

nine one thousand

ten

ten one thousand

 

in ten seconds, your world was crushed by the mistake you could never see coming

in ten seconds, everything stopped

in ten seconds i could have told you

in ten seconds, you would have known

 

ten nine eight seven six five four three two one

 

if you could just once today

think about me

for ten seconds

or however long it takes you to read this poem

and the secret may find you

or you could keep counting down to madness

 

easy as 123

easy as abc

seeing clearly now in the pouring rain

singing my song in the darkness

and adding links to the chain

singing tunes to the toon

and getting lost in the count

Love Lost

close to remember

 

swelling images crisscross the plain paper

intersection in my injected mold mind

turning fragments of old movies

into clear pictures of chaos murdered

and i close my eyes to see you dancing in the rain

free from the torture of time

 

close to remember

 

solitary functions morph

into complex parts of statuesque sensuality

gliding along forgotten river valleys

landing in green fields of newly stolen life

and i close my eyes

to see you forming questions without words

free from the reason of rhyme

 

now close to forget

Profit of Gloom: Part 3

steal a kiss from death 

searching for meaning to life; 

found eternity?

Midnight Snack

i like this quiet time of night

when mother melody has put all those fears to bed

tucked them in for a long night’s rest

the only sound is the shuffling of my own feet

scooting across the carpet

making my way to the kitchen for a late-night snack

 

i miss you

 

the traffic keeps me company

cars full of late-night prowlers searching for redemption

or tacos

perhaps they are lost like me

wondering around thinking of you

no..... they don’t know you

must be the tacos

 

i was once redeemed by a soft shell

 

i miss you

 

then these hours melt away

morning finds me asleep at the wheel

hungry and without you

This Modern Man

i made a deal with the devil

and each day he comes to collect

i made a deal with the devil

another piece of my soul he will select

inside these walls i am to suffer

this now is my living tomb

inside these walls i am to suffer

these words spell out my living doom

 

have mercy on this weary creature

have mercy on this broken man

oh someone please, please end my burden

and send me to the promised land

 

i made a deal with the devil

and my pain is his request

i made a deal with the devil

he now takes all that is my best

 

lead weight fills my aching heart now

as i slip further into darkness

lead weight fills my aching heart

as i wait for death's blackened kiss

 

have mercy on this weary creature

have mercy on this broken man

oh someone please, please end my burden

and send me to the promised land

 

remember me as i once was

a man with love and passion filled

remember me as i once was

who modern times did surely kill

 

have mercy on this weary creature

have mercy on this broken man

oh someone please, please end my burden

and send me to the promised land

 

and put an end to this sick notion

this unholy thing called modern man

and send us to the promised land

and send us to the promised land

And Maybe: Part 2

i sit on this rooftop

in the city in which i dwell

a city that is not my own

watching as a lazy sun slips away

it brings the shadows of a nighttime i wish i didn't own

perhaps if i close my eyes

time will somehow let me return to the hazy humid sunsets of years gone by

perhaps…

 

perhaps if i close my eyes hard enough

i will remember who i am

The Death of A Life Form

love is a living thing

it breathes, moves, stumbles and falls

love needs, hungers and crawls

love is a living thing

and you committed murder

 

ashes to ashes

dust to dust

we commit this love

to the everlasting wasteland known as regret

nevermore to cling desperately to your heart or mine

just alone in a shallow grave

marked only by a faint memory of what could have been

 

at the trial

you sit there certain of your innocence

confident in your power of persuasion

but the ghost of love walks this courtroom

seeking not your condemnation

nor your acquittal

love only wants you to remember

love is a living thing

and you committed murder

I Prometheus

keep my confession 

i won’t need it where i am to be judged 

within the kingdom of depravity 

i will stand accused 

of the grandest of larcenies 

i mastered the secrets of perversion 

and offered them to the world 

i invoked my own flesh for consumption 

and reveled in the glory of being a god

Oh, How the Fates Have Fallen?

as he opens the door to this room of debauchery 

a chill runs the length of his existence 

perhaps this will be his last battle? 

his grip around the leather bound book tightens 

while his other hand reminds him of the pistol 

tucked in his belt 

weepy eyed souls frightened by his presence 

cry out for redemption 

but no, oh no he makes this journey not for 

the lost souls of stragglers 

hardened lovers of the lust glare at him

with defiance and indignation 

but no, oh no he is not here to cast stones 

to bring theses sinners to the justice of the throne 

he seeks the one 

he seeks the empty promise that abandoned him 

he seeks the traitor who threw him to the dogs 

he seeks the architect of his waterloo 

no longer guided by the righteousness of his soul 

the hand of revenge now outweighs the hand of virtue 

will grace save him, after the fall? 

the clinging odor of doubt surrounds him now 

his mind aglow with faint memories of words unspoken 

trying to remember lines of scripture tossed into the fire of time 

the room now spins as the moment of justice nears 

a low dirge rolls out of mouth working its way to his feet 

a funeral song of regret he now sings with shaken courage 

never would he have imagined it, this moment frozen 

death has been invoked from the shadows 

nothing will escape this room of despair 

he reveals the one 

the one who walks in betrayal 

the one who spins the web of deceit 

the one who kneels at the alter of vanity 

himself

The Lost Valentine

to all the things i have not become

ah, to reflect upon ones life 

a miracle to some 

to others nothing more than a challenge to find purpose 

to all that i have not become

i lay at your feet and wonder 

lecherous thief 

emotional pauper 

drunken malcontent 

unclean villain 

a wretched harvester of pain woe and sorrow 

yes, to reflect upon a lifetime

and to all that i have not become i owe to you and your angelic grace

September's Bounty

she left for the coast 

on the last day of september 

the new lines of freedom 

rolled along like freeway markings 

and she was certain 

all those thoughts 

were left behind 

through the hills and valleys 

of other peoples broken dreams 

she caught a glimpse 

of what she was missing 

unaware 

the highwayman in her mirror carried a bounty 

and he would not be denied

Singing In The Rain?

little slivers of golden promises 

chase rain down the street 

flooded and swollen with certain 

images which cannot be shown 

to just any set of on looking eyes 

you did say 

"cry me a river"

THE CLIMATE OF MY LOVE

winds in my mind blowing from somewhere south

warm winds indeed

clashing with the cool serenity of those northern lands

and i am caught in this pattern

going in and out of sane

a super cell of rage caught in an atmospheric river of depression

no forecast today

our emotional meteorologist waved the white flag two days ago

no forecast today

the radar went down during the morning bombardment

convective available potential energy swirls about 

joules per kilogram indeed

this emotional soup is about to boil over onto the hot stove of destiny

and i am without shelter from my own storm

watches and warnings

nowcasting from within the eye of devastation 

no forecast today

i am the oncoming storm, the descending madness about to touchdown 

no forecasting today

an f5 of wrath cruising the alley of disappointment and regret

HIDEAWAY

persecution isn't a street in my world

it's an expressway going one way

after myself in full pursuit

hell bent for a conviction of sorrow

...then a pineapple rolls my way...mamma mia

imma gonna...

this destiny isn't about wins and losses

about time

about finding out

about fucking nothing or everything

about getting the sleep you dreamt about when you were awake 

TWINKLE

yesterday sucked the marrow from bone and he's numb from from the process

the tequila made the lights flicker in the backroom of surprise and she's sleeping off the balance

while a shadow follows the lonely movements of a broken heart slipping into the pool

the price of being has long surpassed the capacity to earn the required rent

from rusted chains to gilded bars

 from open wounds to visible scars 

twinkle, twinkle all the faded stars

today broke the last lock holding back the flood and she's never been the best swimmer

a sip of water that for others brings refreshing life only burns the throat he's holding

while a shadow moves between darkness and dawn in the cool air above the silent ground

the ticket of escape has long since been cancelled and this flight suspended

from rusted chains to gilded bars

 from open wounds to visible scars 

twinkle, twinkle all the faded stars

tomorrow the song of truth and dreams will be longer than he's willing to sing

the free refills of blue ribbon promises no longer has a taste she's willing to drink

while a shadow orders the house special at the diner of wasted time

the stale bread of doubt is the appetizer in this buffet of burning futures

from rusted chains to gilded bars

 from open wounds to visible scars 

twinkle, twinkle all the faded stars 

AND THE STORY GOES

water may roll and the wind my break

but the soul will sway from day to day

push follows shove in this new land of make believe

and the soul flickers with a fading neon smile

and so the story goes 

from cradle to grave with a country shuffle

and the whispers travelling show

from the flush to the shallow with a lost hustle

i can fool the fools in the crowd

but the soul knows the color of life

art follows the function of sanity in this night gallery

and the soul winks at the pretty girls in the hall

and so the story goes

some days are pages read in haste and shallow

and the shadows creep in so slow

from technicolor to gray in a blurry tomorrow

the hangover of certainty shimmers like a steel guitar

but the soul feels the notes in advance

a simple sigh in this symphony of fallen stars

and the soul sneaks past the gate with a song and dance

and so the story goes

the drunk and the dreamer stumble into history

and the world may never know

but i know what it means to me 

HOW AM I DOING? (AN OLD DOG MAY KNOW THE ANSWER, BUT HE AIN'T SAYIN)

the orgasm of void twists inside the expanded mind and ignites the cosmic shift into overdrive

and i am home

in this origin of fire

time turns the everlasting screw of burnt out dreams within this internal combustion of humanity

and i thrive

in this origin of fire

the lords of pain and pleasure inject the fuel of passion and dominance into the machine of lust and eternity

and i rule

in this origin of fire 

ILLUSION

a revolution of sound

beyond the mind of a madman

press on the gas precious

...this is a symphony of waves

you see me on your phone

but i live in a rotary state

more speed my delicious

...this is warmth that enraptured

gone is the color of distance

on a treasure map to dreams

just a bit faster my effervescence

...this is the sleep that architects

the decay of brilliance will break us down into cosmic opulence and i will sway with you through all time and space

...this is the elemental

...this is the immortal

...this is the conjugation

...this is the invention

...this is my love and it walks into eternity for you 

PRELUDE IN OBSIDIAN

 the soul of darkness weeps behind shadows

and you of the clean heart let him bleed

now this morbid rhythm snarls and churns

oh what deathly hell unleashed upon this plane

wheels of madness crushing bone

fire walks the realm now

madness of power grinding the stone

fire walks this realm now

the sickening thunder of terror cowers in corners

and you of the clean heart let him scream

now this machine perpetual consumes immortal

unending deathly hell unleashed upon this plane

wheels of madness crushing bone

fire walks this realm now

madness of power grinding the stone

fire walks this realm now

UNKNOWN LOVE SONG

the lines on my face into suite madam blue and then you hit me with gilmour telling me so far away

oh cunning spoofy...

you beguiling me

tossing me

frosting me

taking advantage of my state

swirling into a slow fade

my soul soaring through the night sky hoping to

catch her dreaming the impossible

as sirens wail outside you rock me with astronomy

...maybe she will dream of me

hey

hey hey

one slip

...i should end this before i fall 

61 IS A NUMBER ATE SHORT OF THIS WEEKS EXCITING EPISODE OF RETURN TO SWALLOW FALLS: THE MUSICAL

what room was i in?

one door down from the sound of my sanity melting into the sunset

room 16

could be an allusion

would be an illusion 

should be a conclusion 

but it is a concussion 

or a submission 

for there is shit in this prescription 

-and i need a refill

i'm cracked don't you know?

a broken token

a soul forgotten 

flowing in the gutter to a treatment plant of synthetic anthemic nonsense

hey, isn't that keith emerson's cat? (poetic callback)

room 16

could be vibrations 

would be variations 

should be complications 

but only insinuations

or an investigation 

for there is gold in this passion 

-and my bank account is never overdrawn 

it wasn't a room

never was

i was in your mind

in the palace of secrets 

the palace vault...i picked the lock and treasure erupted...i danced in the dark shadows of your crown jewel and drank the nectar of your madness 

and in the frenzy of exploration i burst into...

...what room was i going to?

SHE BLINDED ME WITH POETRY (THE SCIENCE OF CREATING WORLDS OF WORDS)

you rang the bells of damnation 

you rang the bells to remind me

and i raised an army to mystify you

you sang the song of passion

you sang the song to incite me

and i danced in the gallows to glorify you

there is a fire that burns enterally 

there is a desire that consumes reality

there is an infinite orgasm of cosmic uncertainty 

and i love you 

-oh my precious words...how have i missed you

SHE NEVER GOT TO TELL JIMI SHE WAS INDEED EXPERIENCED

have you ever unraveled shag carpet?

if you have...

imagine taking all that carpet string and wading it into a loose ball-

now, imagine that the ball of carpet string is spinning-

ok, good...

tell me what you see when you look through that loose, spinning ball of carpet string 

it would be just like that

maybe that's why i'm so hard to love or why i love too hard

or do i love make hard?

or do i hard make love?

or do i love too hard make?

the drips of the sink shatter into piano tones inside my soul

oh these trumpets of whispered erotica release me into a waterfall of unrelenting groove

and now you know how easy i am to love

these principles of being simply slow and shiveringly deliberate must always be cloaked in the mists of uncertainty 

certainly mentally ribbed for your pleasure and certifiably certain of bringing out the island in your stream

but i have but one question-

are

you...

have you ever been

are you... expensive

REMIND ME NEXT TIME (ANOTHER NIGHT IN)

these swimming in jello moments when all my lifetimes come crashing at me in hyper driven rush of remastered sounds

almost taunting me

a near collision of disastrous out of time brush strokes 

almost haunting me

these flat eq'd symphonies of grand expectations i wrote in negative harmony 200 years ago falling around my ears

almost soothing me

a treasure chest of train whistles inside of the vacuum of climax

almost remembering me

and just to make you wonder...

this is where a random bassoon solo would go

(i've never met a bassoon player)

these spaces in the distance of retro-baroque melancholy hold me in a passion for a single purple note

almost drowning me

a cat possessed by the drunken ghost of kieth emerson dropped on a piano

almost toppling me

these pre-hays epic movies with singing breasts and dancing penises i directed at the end of a decade long night

almost arousing me

a smoothie of poisonous fruits mixed with a wah peddle and garnished with the color of a conjunction 

almost fortifying me

these places in the timeline of an endless loop of TV themes i wrote in a cave under the tree of isolation 

(i have met a dulcimer player)

but this is where the accordion solo goes

because you know why...

**this is exactly where ralph cramden walks in and tells me that i am a mental case**

but i do enjoy rolling around in this swimming pool full of angel hair pasta

a fallacy of intimacy i decided to type one night

almost saving me

an ode to the seagulls of chaos who remind us that if you eat the eyes of a soul you will pass this into oblivion as well

oh well...

i tried to love you in the shade of melody and somehow lost the tune

these swimming in jello moments i finally captured in your mind

one of you should remind me next time to type

THE FORMER I IS UNSEEN IN THE WIND OF REGRET

i walked a million miles of wall and wire to carry a dream to that far shore

the frightened cries of a thousand nights still echo in the valleys and over the moonlight mountains 

…and still i march on

it was a still surrender under a pale new sky when these words flew past the horizon of my shame

burdens of boredom and rivers of pain hide when the fall begins

…and still i march on

there are children in windows watching foxes argue over portions of my soul knowing not when bellies in the house of despair will be filled

for there is no hope in the pockets of a broken fool

…and still i march on

dissonance falls from my keyboard as I struggle to keep step with this new time signature while fumbling to find the key of a song i don't remember writing when the journey was new

…and still i march on

march on…

because the body seldom knows the heart has faded

a fable will rise from this terminal night

in a future not yet born i will deja vu another authorless poem

…and once again i will march on

march on…

only you and the former i will ever know

ONE NIGHT IN THE COSMIC DISCO OF BEING A PHANTASM

in the twilight of a night you thought would never arrive the sound of trumpets swirled around the first sparkle of the evening stars and you fell to your knees

it could never sound the same as before when the drums filled your senses and drew you to an altar built on the dust of another universe long ago dead

this was the warning given to you by a madman who slipped into your conscience from a dream that a sleeping genius had one drunken night when he conceived a destroyer of worlds 

absence is a worthless messenger and a poor excuse for time that trickles out of the swirling cosmos of a world yet born in reckless abandon of your fantasies gone rogue

now you struggle to rise and greet the mist of your own mortality that creeps into your burning lungs

this is the decadence of your request and it will burn you in the flames of the pursuit of a poison you could never taste

too late to turn away

too late to turn away

memorized and hypnotized by the passion of this quest you will die in a climax of desire that will haunt worlds until the end of time

too late to turn away

too late to turn away

the seed now planted deep in the womb of imagination as you feel the blood of sacrifice rush from the cave mystery you defiled on a whim

the ghost of vacancy will exact punishment for the crime and all creatures great and small will wither and die in the sunrise of your execution

BALLAD OF A WORD MAN

 it's a shiver of truth babe that you can't resist

a nugget in the nougat of a spoiled milk cake

at eighteen you woke me

in seventeen you broke me

and now i live with words i cannot shake

is this the question to the answer or a new noir twist

either way i'm damned to a black and white fate

close the door

turn out the light

for the next verse i think i'll come in late

ballad of a word man who lied and cried and died

but damned if he hadn't too many times already tried

NEON

 i slip out of time and so many worlds scatter

...like the words of the madman hiding in stunning neon

INTO THE WORDLESS

 you smiled and faded away

a sinful curl of your lips

hit me with the force of a million wishes

and before i could ask

you disappeared

back into the words i have yet to write

the stars twinkled and the trees swayed

tears fell from unborn eyes

and before i could ask

you reappeared

smile for me darling

before the bullet of madness finds you

before the conquistadors reach your palace

smile for me and i will take my leave

you smiled and faded away

another moment drifting by

you smiled and faded away

before i could rewrite the ending

you smiled

and that is all that matters

TIME IS THE DARK MATTER THAT SEPERATES US

look at these words (i write them)

look at these worlds (with these words i create them)

a lifetime of creation would be all i ever wanted to give to you

…if only i could speak to you

…if only you could hear me

but a world of words in my universe is a tower of babel in yours

CENTURION

i was born with snakes and guns in my hands

and the word on my tongue

cursed and redeemed before birth

and into the pit my soul was flung

the void seduced me and in a trance i travelled to the end of tomorrow where i bore witness to the birth of chaos and lunacy in a single inhale of lust

the sound startled me and in a hyper-sane moment i returned to the dawn of sadness where i bore witness to the death of love and passion in a single exhale of regret

i was reborn with accuracy and efficiency in my words 

and truth as my mission

darkened and enlightened before death

and returning from the pit with absolute vision 

i wander the shadows of this reality and remind you how warm the light of love can be….

WHIRLWINDS AND WHIRLPOOLS IN THE KEY OF F SHARP MINOR

is moment is the edge of forever and there can be no passage without the opening of your sacred gates

give me your roadmap to excess and hours of wonder that will slip into naked nostalgia when the river flows beyond the banks in your valley of invention

i will captain this adventure into the mysteries of your abandon and become the master of seas in your universe of exaltation

BEFORE YOU SAY THIS THOUGHT HAS GONE

all you touch tonight may be a mystery by morning or a revelation in the science of imagination before you wake from this dream flight into the soul of madness 

swirling patterns of radiant transformations explode into the empty spaces between pulsating shivers of silence 

…and still i dream of touching the impossible 

…oh to taste the lips on the smile of disaster 

…to have that flavor haunt my world

…to feel it infiltrate the corners of my sanity

all you touch tonight may be shadows of proclamations i made before the heart of a love that was never conceived 

i am orderly sorrow in the chaos of joy

and i am alive in the fear of uncertainty 

all you may touch tonight

ARPEGGIO

tomorrow could whisper in the ear of reason would the lies of yesterday cripple the monster in the eyes of passion

it is the rhythm of dreams to slow burn our blessings

it is the cycle of dysfunction to invert our perversions 

swing this world into a conundrum of unborn fate and secret me away to another body in a reality that listens to the song of inner hell and chaos 

infinity i now grasp

silent beauty in this twisted painting of a man gone insane

THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP IS NOT KNOWING WHAT I PUT IN YOUR MIND’S CUP (YOU CAN'T WRITE THIS SHIT- BECAUSE ONLY I UNDERSTAND IT)

is nowhere now here no where if you feel it everywhere in here hidden from the silence of a touch remembered in the final seconds of a symptomatic reaction 

cue the fucking symphony bitches- I AM ALIVE

crazy eyes seeing visions of the parasite in the hollow of the night are crying now without the mind recognizing the phantoms that chase today round the action 

cue the fucking symphony bitches- I AM BEYOND